EID DAY ND MORE...

so, eid wasnt as bummerastic as i thought it would be. wokeup at 1 30 pm. i slept at 8 am the last night, not that i was doing any thing special in particular, i just couldnt sleep. maybe jealous-y :P or the normal day-dream stuff. but whateves.

anyways, i worked up, changed, put on liner and gloss, did my hair, and actually looked good =). and cause there wasnt anybody frank enough to to be asked for eidi, i just got a 1000 bucks from my dad. all the random crap, eh? i know :P. i was actually thinking about how much everybody back there in Lahore would be enjoying. and how much more eidi they would have gotten. lucky peeps. aaahh yeah, so me? i know, right :P

ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE I HOPE U ALL MUST HAVE HAD A DAY TO BE CHERISHED ALWAYS =)

well, heres the real deal. I GOT FAT. or maybe FATTER. can you believe it? ramadan did that. the unlimited snacks and leftovers in intervals after aftari, and going to bed straight after sehri. it totally turned me into a hipo. (not literally, of course, but metamorphicaly :P) i wore this shirt of mine, i wore like to uni around three weeks back, and man i did feel it got tighter. then on the other day, i tried my old skinnies, and it literally took me around 5 mins to to get it up. =O. OMG. thank God, i wore a long shirt over it otherwise my bums really would have made a scene :P

well, so, i have made up my mind, and i will be going to gym, for like an hour daily, or else i could be turned into a hipo, LITERALLY. i am just not sure, since when i would be starting with this routine :P i hope sooooooooooooooooon.

uni is about to start again, around a week or so left. UNFORTUNATELY, am looking forward to it. i cant wait to meet my friends, and gossip :P i mean who doesnt love gossiping, eh? NO ONE, right? :P

and guess what, my complexions gone fairer. yaaaaaaaaayyy. thanks to staying up at home all month, nd not roaming in the campus =D i totally feel the difference. LOL.

one more thing, i have saved around 3000 bucks, in Ramadan. thanks to not.allowed.to.eat.anything. i can actually spend them on something i dig. HATS OFF TO ME, RIGHT? drumroll please, *bows* :P. im super excited about my saving. its not so occasionally i save up money, ya see :P

cheers. 

LUCKY ME.

around 2 months ago, i went to this friends sisters wedding. it wasnt a total out of the ordinary, omgsocooool wedding. but there was a cool element to it. there was this guy, this HAWT guy, i saw and ohmigosh totally forgot everything else (expect for do i look ok for him to notice :P).

i was like LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME. U SUCKER, LOOK AT ME, HERRRRRREE, HELLLLOOOOOO. :P trust me. he was like the hottest guy i have seen since like forever. trust me, i study in a fashion institute ans all i get to see there are GAYS. haah haaaahh. like seriously. =O

anyways, i was like there, standing with all my other friends, and praying, please let him see me. pleeeeeeeeeaaassseee.

and then one of my friends said, MAHNOOOR HE TOTALLY CHECKED YOU OUT. wooohoooooo. i was excited. super duper excited. couldnt jump in heels but i was jumping by my face expressions. (u culd have known if you were there :P)

all the time i was like, checking if i look ok. going to get pepsi, and food from near to where hes standing. working around the wooden ramp, just trying to tell him i exist. :P

the time flied then. seriously. just when i was sure he. is. checking. me. out, my dad called me and said, come on it late, im out. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. BLAST.

sooo i went home, and tried to tell myself to forget him. hes just another guy i saw. and i knew i ll be over him in a day or two :P. the next day at uni. my friend, the one whos sisters wedding it was, told me he was one of her friends and all. BUMMER right. i know, here i am trying to get over him, and there shes telling me stuff about him.

ok, well, now after like so much time,specially when i had forgotten him, i get a text, and hes UZAIR, the same guy, i was crushing on, the irony. i was excited, but not excited too. i mean i had moved on.

anyways, i was like, yaaay, hot guys notice me too, yaaay yaaaaay, a mutual crush =D

but here the catch, after a while, when we got friends, other than just strangers, i get to know hes a year YOUNGER to me. fucking stinking shit. now this is the real bummer. LUCKY ME. *bangs head on the wall*.

soooooooo......nothing left to say haaan, =S. but im doing ok. i mean it happens right. he was just too good for me. or maybe, vice versa. I WAS TOO GOOD FOR HIM. (this is what my best friend tellls me, and as i always believe her, imma believe her on this too :D)

randomness

first of all, im so glad i got so many good comments about the little story i wrote. lol. i know its not the best one, but i have just started writing and its probably gonna take me some time. anyways u made me blushing. literally. :D and the butterfly effect, well thanks so so so much, u gave me the bestest advices =)

well, life is totally random. sleep after sehri. wake up after 3 :P. tv and namaz. then aftaari, and then blogging. no uni, no hangouts, no fun. i realli never thought i would miss my uni and friends, but i really am missing her. now i know why people say they are bored when they are at home, not worrying about homework :P

well, cause of my dads posting, we live ALONE here. alone as in no family in Karachi. all my cousins are totally enjoying there in LAHORE. day before yesterday, my nano had the grand aftari. yesterday, my cousins had one. today, it was at my moms chachas. i know, the relation isnt pretty close, but we are closest friends with them. my cousins text me daily, cause they know im getting super jealous, and they enjoy it. :P i know right. thats sometimes how ur bestest friends behave. I MISS LAHORE SO MUCH, and i wanna be there :(

and other than that, im so bored. massive boredome. i AM reading the kitaab my dad gave my, but im slow. and i cannot read it always :P

tv. well tv is boring too. sometimes theres absolutely nothing coming over. and sometimes every channel has something kewl coming, and u end up getting confused what to see. trust me. :P

and well thats so much for today. theres alot more random stuff going on, but this randomness is enough, no?? :P

Har Ek Friend Zaroori Hota Hai =D

thoughts

there he was. standing and waiting. looking calm and handsome, young and confident, just as he always has been. he was at the airport. waiting for the girl hes loved with all his heart. the one who hes been waiting for around 5 years. today, finally she was coming over. to live with his family, as a family, un till she finds a suitable place to work and live in his country. he was ecstatic. yet nervous. hes meeting the girl hes dreamt of, continuously, day and night, summer and winter. and what not. he checks himself once more in the side mirror of his car, checks if he looks ok. makes a silent prayer, sighs, and and moves towards the door with a smile, the arriving door for its about time.

there she was, waiting for her luggage to arrive, all the long 18 hours trip, shes been thinking, and thinking, and recalling and thinking, if he loves her too. shes so happy, yet very nervous. shes spent the whole previous night, putting on dresses. making sure shes wearing the right dress when she meets him there. shes loved him since the last time they met. only and ONLY him, with all her heart. sobbed n silence, laughed thinking about the fun times they have spent together. standing in the lounge, waiting for the luggage, she gives her final touches her makes to hide the imperfect features, smiles. her luggage is here, she picks that up, sighs and moves ahead for its about time, shes meeting him.

when they last time they met, it were summers. they both were young and not sure about what they really want from their lives. they are family. their parents know each other. they have loved one another for so long, from all their hearts, they know they are the one. they have spent every minute of the last 5 years, thinking of each other, and waited forever for this to come. they have been friends throughout the 5 years. not very good friends, just by-the-way friends. not that they both dint wanna be close friends, they wanted to be close, just none of them had the courage to speak up. they were afraid, if they say so, they might loose the some-some friendship they have got. LIFE CAN BE SO UNFAIR, YET FAIR AT THE SAME TIME. SIGHSSS.

finally today, they meet. they look at each other, eye to eye, and after some seconds they look aside. both are nervously excited. but both are cowards. but they cant help it. thats how life has been to them. she reaches near, he takes her luggage, they smile at each other, and she leaves with him. BOTH UNKNOWN OF THE WORLDS BIGGEST SECRET.

URDU book...

my dad gave me this book, Urdu book, named JUB ZINDAGI SHURU HOGI (when the life will start), like two months ago. i keep on changing the topic whenever he asks me about it. :P.

okayyyy, i did start it, but i couldnt catch up with it.

i cant read an urdu kitaab. i mean i respect urdu and all. but i CANNOT read it. its difficult. and verrrryyyyy difficult. :P i remember my first and second year, i used to cram all the tashreehs and muhawaraaat. now, when finally i am over that time, let me enjoy, right. :P.

he asked me again, did u read it? and this time his facial expressions showed he means it. i said yes i did, but i cannot catch up with it. its mushkil abba. he gave me THAT faujio waali look, and i knew i was in trouble. now hes asked me, if not it, then no more ENGLISH books :P dammmmn. so that means i have to put my head in it and try to read it. this is so unfair, right.

and on the top of all, I HAVE GOT ONE FRIGGING WEEK. aaahhhh noooo....

sooo imma try reading it. i keep telling myself, that if he says its good, it has to be good. but i cant help it man. Urdu is just not my thing. sorry, but seriously :P

i hope i finish it. i ll tell you guys if i succeed... *fingers crossed*

p.s THANKS A BUNCH FOR THE AWARD. =)

the sky is crying too...

it rained here, in Karachi. a little. but enough to make me realize, that the sky itself is crying cos of the bloodshed here =(. the road is just wet. and the clouds are black. it appears that they have so much to say, but are helpless. LIKE US=(.

the past few days, i have seen so many, sin-less people die of the target killing. it kills me too. inside, indeed =(

and i dont know what else to say. got so much more to say, but have no clue where to start from or end.

craving for metal rock :P

i made a pact. that i aint going to listen to any songs in Ramadan. i am going to be a good Muslim. at least imma try real real hard. big. but guess where i ended, i ended up craving for hard, metal rock :P. it brings shame to me too, but i cant help myself. :P.

FOO FIGHTERS AND THREE DAYS GRACE ARE AWESOME. AWESOMENESS.

ps this is the music i can listen to no matter what mood i am in. i know its no super metal rock. :P

pps.. im over to say my prayers. :D

IMAGINATION, i'd call

okay, well today, my finals result was coming out. you know what i hated about semester system the most, after the BOARD K IMTEHAANAAT :P (board exams), is that you have results all the time. class assignment. mid term. class assignments. and then final. same scene the whole year. ughh. it gets on my nerves now.


anyways, till sehri i couldnt sleep. for i was so darn worried. i kept on changing postures in my bed. i even tried listening to songs to change my worried thoughts. at last, i got up, switched on the laptop ans started you-tubing random stuff. 


after sehri, i tried sleeping again. but in vain. i couldnot sleep, AT ALL. time passed, i kept on praying, saying darud shareef, and i dont know when, but i slept. my phones vibration woke me up. it was a text message from my friend. she was worried too, and couldnt sleep herself. we talked a while, and then i slept again. now here the whole imagination thing starts. i had no clue how i did in the exams. i mean yeah, i knew whatto do, and i did that, but then again who knows how teachers grade you at the end of the semester. i saw that i got 2.7 gpa. dammmmit. sucks. i know, right. i wanted more than 3. well im all worried looking out for teachers, and other people related to all of this thing. i finf a friend of mine in the middle of it. one of my friends, i had texted earlier, to check my result too, if she reaches there early. in my dream, she tells me that dude theres something wrong, it cant be yours. and when i see my result sheet after that, shes right, there some official mistake, and i take it to this uncle we have who solves all our problems, he rechecks it, and there, i have got 3.2 in real. what a relief. i smile. i am happy. ecstatic. and suddenly, i realise, it was a dream. i open my eyes and dammmmmn IT WAS A DREAM. sucks majorly, i know.


then again, i check my phone, say daruud shareef, and sleep some where in between. i see another dream. this time, another of my friend has my sheet, and it says u scored 3 gpa. whoooaaa, i am so glad. for i knew, more than 3 is impossible, after the exams i have taken. i am so excited. i tell all others. 3 gpa, wow. to me, i aced it. and i am all happy, then suddenly my phone vibrates again, and i am awoken. WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL. mannn. fucking shit. not again. im so broken. 


anyways, i dont sleep after that. though my result isnt really good, i am glad i cleared all the coarses :P. but yeah, nt as good as 3.5, the last times :P. 


WHAT AN IMAGINATION I GOT :P 

20 years old!!!!!

i felt different. i felt old. very old. i felt insecure. and i was way more pissed off than excited. i turned 20 on august 16, 2011. whoooohooooaaaa 20. huge figure.

i kept on praying clock stops. time stops. the world stops. (how lame, i know :P). that 16th august, 2011 never comes, but, it DID. clock struck 12 and there you gooo... my sister and brother shouted, HAPPY BIRTHDAAYYY, as if they had nothing better to do, and there and then, the day was here. the day when i wont be a teenager anymore, the day when everyone will call me a grown up. AAAHHHHHHHH.

well then what, my mom and dad gave me a hug. and kisses. and my phone started buzzing. and beeping. and calls and calls, making me believe that the thing have changed now, FOR SURE. my cousins called me first. all three. sisters. saying i wanna talk, its my turn, gimme the phone, its my turn now, (:P thats so cute, right :P .)as if they all wanna tease me over. saying out loud, welcome to the twentiessss, you are officially oldest to all of us. and then again calls and text messages. it was pretty much the same till 2. everyone saying, budhi hogai ho. ohh hoooooo 20. samajhdar hojao ab. (get mature :P). and so much more.

slept, woke up. 4 hours up. ten hours up. and the day was still not over. oh wait, nooooooooo facebook. dammmmmnnn. when i was logging in, i made a silent prayer that please her, make my friends realise its a public place. not my wall pleassse. not my wall. and THANK GOD, here there werent much of the taunts and the teases. whewwwwww. sigh of relief. loads of wishes, and good ones. the ones who teased me over texts, were smooth here :P. they realized i have people here on fb. :P.

anyways, finally the day was about to be over. i was glad. but a little sad too. i mean, though i wasnt very excited, the day was filled with excitement and fun :). even long, lost friends out of nowhere wished me. close friends made me realize how lucky i am to have them. and most of all, i have been given another years to enjot to the fullest. and be thankful for the beautiful life i have. i know the risk of getting married has come very near now :P. but thats ok. im sure my parents could wait, till i am ready. not that they are cnsidering any specific rishta for now, but you know Pakistani parents, dont you :P.

and the day finally came to an end. i enjoyed. actually the insecurity of getting older is the real twist here :P. so, officially i kicked my teens, and welcomed my twenties, and hoped to become a better human being :D.



now when i am 20 years, and two days old, i dont think something major changed. :P. it was my lame head. i did change. changed for good. sooo if you havent turned 20 yet, and are a teen, enjoy it to the most, as you will never get it back, and please dont be scared like i was, cause its one day to be cherished like all the others :) and yeah, cut a cake, unlike me :P.

cheers.

independence day.

to tell you, honesty, i am not a patriot. as in not a wannabee patriot. i mean obvsly i love Pakistan and all, but really? people who do noting about our country the whole year, are just uselessly forwarding you independence day texts. i mean gimme a break. you are the one whose littering our roads, abusing their so called country, telling, man there no freaking future of Pakistan. saying bad things about our good leaders. busy in bribing. i know, things are rough in Pakistan, but hellooo dude, its basically cause of your own bloody self. you love PAKISTAN for just a day, the independence day, and then the following day, you are back to normal. all the loves phooof-ed, as if you have like moved on.

not that i do aloooot of stuff for my country too, but at least i try caring for the little things. and i do all i can. that i can easily do. i am not bluffing, or tooting my own horn. but, we are having a serious talk here. :P.

i am sure you all KNOW such people, and i am sure u hate them too. but, the point is, why cant we do anything about it? why NOT. its our own country, for crying out loud. 

school administration.....UGH

well, i had a day off. and the weathers been too cozy, so for someone like me whos got this waking up early in the morning DISORDER can understand what i mean :P. but nooo i did not get  to sleep till late. i had to be up EARLY for i have an exam tomorrow, and the administration wala told me that i have some attendence issue, which has got to be resolved or else i wont be allowed to take my exam. can u believe it. how pathetic. well then , just like the past three days that i have been following and looking for my teacher, i got up, in this AWESOME mausam (weather), got ready, uggghh, and went to the campus.

i enetered hoping that today i will find her and talk to her. but my bad. shes been busy talking with the director. i mean how pathetic. i know, the directors new, and it will take him time to understand the bloody rules and regulations we have here, but man, he needs some space. you know, watching you, three days in a row, talking to him, does make students think theres something fishy. :P.

aaahhhh, then what, i went looking around, the hall and classrooms so i find some friend. and finally i find a couple of people i know. i wait, with THEM for they need to get some assignments marked too. i mean, how unbelievingly mean. you come here for the sake of students, and all the students are here WAITING for you. that sucks you know, and specially when you have nothing to do, but here just for the sake of some unknown issue u have to take care of, ALONE, how rude of the administration.

well then, after an hour and a half, she finally leaves the director alone. we goooo, OHH YEAAH OHH YEAAAAH. but whattttt the hellllllll. she has some other guy in her so called office already. ewww man, u need to get some grip. helllloooooooooo. students want to talk to you too.

anyway, after a lonnnnggg wait. as in L.O.N.G wait, shes ALONE now and we can go to talk to her. well then without wasting anytime, i step in. she looks at me and goes, hey what? i say, madam i had some attendence issue, REMEMBER. and she says oh baita, that, THAT HAS BEEN RESOLVED.

can you believe it. RESOLVED. then why the hell did i get up EARLY. came in here. waited for you, with a bunch of losers. wasted so much of time. kill me man. oh no, kill you. :@

and then, i give her this wierd look, say ohhhhhhhhhhhhh okaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy. and left. can you imagine. what a start of a day. 

lost a friend

okay, it must hav occurred to all of you at like some moment in your life, some time. it does. cos no matter how kool i have tried to stay, and showed to too, i do miss my old friends. no matter what, they have been a part of my life, some time i have known. i am always scared, when i start hanging out with someone new, cause, life is mean like most of the time.

so there, like a few months ago, i had known this friend. we were super cool, as in c.o.o.l, really. we used to talk about anything and everything.  late night talks, discussing useless stuff. even cigarette brands LOL. now its all gone, and i miss him.

the most intersting part, we had like never met. he was my bestfriends boyfriend. and thats how i got to know about him, i loved him, for i knew noone out there, can love her more than this guy does. he understood everything. never argued about useless stuff. always considerate. always thoughtful. always loving. aaaahhh, never known a better guy in my life. and to clear the misunderstanding, i was never jealous. nope. n.e.v.e.r. i always envied her.

and just like the other days, one day they both just texted me, told me, things have gotten tough. messed up. and i got all shocked. but then, sometimes somethings are not meant to be. unfair but true.

now me and my bezzies still got both of us, but he, man hes alone. hes lost the one he loved from all his heart, but also, the one true friend he could share everything with.

not that i havent triead ever to talk to him. i did text him alot of times before, for he was the one who said you dont leave me, but he never tried to be friends now. we havent really gotten off the track. we see eachother online of facebook often, but then again, we arent the friends we used to be anymore. we are just the people we know. just PEOPLE. and i miss the friend i knew.

i dont curse him or anything. i mean i know things havent been easier for him. for if ever he needs someone he can trust, always, i know he will think of me, and i will always cherish the fun times i have had with him.

finally

well, i have been under the influence of blogging since forever. have read so much about it. and thats always wanted me to come start over. today, 8th of august 2011, i did end up finally signing up for blogger. so, im totally confused and dunno much about it. my profile must be preetty s.i.m.p.l.e, but bear with it a few days people, im sure i will learn about all of it soooooon.

incase, u couldnot see it from the way i wrote, im verry excited about signing up. aaahhhhhh, FINALLLYYY =)