happy yet sad. relieved yet humiliated.

wasnt the rain like uh-mazing? it was beautiful. though i feel bad for the homeless people, i mean they had a tough time draining out the water from their small homes, and fretting about how much more this rains gonna cost them, but, apart from that, it was great. the weather was unbelievable. i  had a hard time believing, that its actually Karachi, and not Islamabad or Lahore.

i stood by the window, most of the time, and enjoyed the beautiful raindrops falling. the circular motion made by the droplets, in the water, was so mesmerizing and inspiring. guess what i did, i played backstreet boys first record, millenium. it was so much fun, i sung my heart out. my old, favourite songs!

the rain messed up the lines and the cables. phone lines and electricity lines. every half an hour the power went off. it was hard to the generator switched on, and then off, for short time spans, after every little while. then my cable net was effed up. three days without internet, ugh. and on the top of all, the ptcl lines were messed up too. can you believe it? no net, no light, no phone? yeah, it felt like i am living in the fucking STONE-AGE. grrrr. my cell phones battery isnt really good, and i have to charge my phone usually twice a day to make sure its power wont go off (and i  dont text much now, i am over texting) so i had to use my phone only when it were very urgent and important, cause of the frigging electricity. so hell yeah, it felt as if, Pakistans back in stone-age. GOD BLESS PAKISTAN! *sarcastic smile*

mom and dad are back. they got back home yesterday. i finally could take a big sigh of relief *whewww*. moms not really doing fine. she keeps on crying, telling me about everything there. i cried so much yesterday too. i got back to my senses. my numbness was gone, and my tears actually came out of my eyes, finally. i cried my eyes off then. its such a big loss, everytime i think about it, i cry, for i know, we have lost a gem.

every ones super sad, back there in Lahore too. nano (gran-ma), mamus (uncles) and khalas(aunts). =c all i say is HE IS STILL WITH US. HE LIVES, AND WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN OUR HEARTS.

now, apart from all this, something crazy and totally humiliating happened yesterday. i was talking to my friend. he is a guy friend, and we are pretty close. anyways, when i was texting him, i wrote this big, lengthy, 3 page text to my youngest mamu and khala. i wrote how helpless i am, and how sad is mom still. and that take good care of yourself. and wrote alot more, this sorta caring stuff. i ended the text, by writing, i love you, alot. and i am sorry i am not there with you right now. x x.
and i sent this text to him, mistakenly. i mean my friend. can u believe it? i dint know i sent him, this personal piece of my writing, and so i got a text from him, he saying, since when did u love me? :o annnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddd dammit. it was sooooooo humiliating. i mean, yea i love him, but just as a friend, and would never be in like love LOVE with him. crap. i felt like ripping my hair off my own head, and going in some planet where he doesnt know i exist.

touch phones suck, MAJORLY. so if u use one, double check before sending any text.

how i texted him back, that just i know :P


p.s imma make sure i read all your posts soon, and comment too. i missed blogger these last few STONE-AGE days, and missed you guys more. =)