EMPTINESS.

Been a long while since I've felt this way. Been a long, long while.
Today, after a fortnight, writing is what I have found solace in. The pens moving, spelling letters, making words, sentences, and finally paragraphs.
There's something about a summer night. A lonesome summer night. It brings a gloom, grim and eerie beat to your heart. The intensity increases and so does the beat. Like fighting a couple of monsters inside you, not realizing who the real monster is. The hot air, no matter if the air conditioner is on, sways you along your past. You're entrapped in your own thoughts, the guilt and the regrets building in.
No, what's done is done. And what you've done is what's made you. But there are still the disappointments that remain. The disappointments in one's self. You try forgiving everything and everyone, including yourself, yet there's something that won't leave. That's engraved on your heart, like a stone engraved by a prisoner, counting days and weeks, until he can be free again. You're free, yet you're not. You're the prisoner of your own past.
"Cry; for it lessens the pain."
Yet, crying doesn't bring you happiness. Crying doesn't even removes the sadness. Crying takes you right back to where you started.
Emptiness. The emptiness within you.
It won't let you alone.
Until....you found a paper and a pen.
Until....you enclose all your feelings to a friend who'd never betray you; paper. Until....you let it move along you, by you, with you; pen.

weird thoughts

sometimes time takes us back to the thought, of imagining the pity time, wanting what you have wanted the most. through days and nights have passed, you craving for that one thing. and now, times have changed, you have known what you have asked for, never meant to be yours.

u now know that you have to live with the fact, that what you wanted had Gods will and it might turn out good for you.

but there is a little pain inside you, still wondering what I really wanted, actually that bad? was it really going to hurt you. or someone? intentionally or unintentionally?

and then you realize its too late to even think of it. SOMETHINGS JUST AREN'T MEANT TO BE. 

thoughts

there he was. standing and waiting. looking calm and handsome, young and confident, just as he always has been. he was at the airport. waiting for the girl hes loved with all his heart. the one who hes been waiting for around 5 years. today, finally she was coming over. to live with his family, as a family, un till she finds a suitable place to work and live in his country. he was ecstatic. yet nervous. hes meeting the girl hes dreamt of, continuously, day and night, summer and winter. and what not. he checks himself once more in the side mirror of his car, checks if he looks ok. makes a silent prayer, sighs, and and moves towards the door with a smile, the arriving door for its about time.

there she was, waiting for her luggage to arrive, all the long 18 hours trip, shes been thinking, and thinking, and recalling and thinking, if he loves her too. shes so happy, yet very nervous. shes spent the whole previous night, putting on dresses. making sure shes wearing the right dress when she meets him there. shes loved him since the last time they met. only and ONLY him, with all her heart. sobbed n silence, laughed thinking about the fun times they have spent together. standing in the lounge, waiting for the luggage, she gives her final touches her makes to hide the imperfect features, smiles. her luggage is here, she picks that up, sighs and moves ahead for its about time, shes meeting him.

when they last time they met, it were summers. they both were young and not sure about what they really want from their lives. they are family. their parents know each other. they have loved one another for so long, from all their hearts, they know they are the one. they have spent every minute of the last 5 years, thinking of each other, and waited forever for this to come. they have been friends throughout the 5 years. not very good friends, just by-the-way friends. not that they both dint wanna be close friends, they wanted to be close, just none of them had the courage to speak up. they were afraid, if they say so, they might loose the some-some friendship they have got. LIFE CAN BE SO UNFAIR, YET FAIR AT THE SAME TIME. SIGHSSS.

finally today, they meet. they look at each other, eye to eye, and after some seconds they look aside. both are nervously excited. but both are cowards. but they cant help it. thats how life has been to them. she reaches near, he takes her luggage, they smile at each other, and she leaves with him. BOTH UNKNOWN OF THE WORLDS BIGGEST SECRET.