=(

i wanted to write so so much today. but unfortunately, a news came by. my granddad (nana) died.

mom and dads left. leaving me the head of the house for a few days.

we (siblings) dint go cause they have school, and i had to be here to look up for them.

he (nana abu) wasnt well for a long time. he had lost his memory, and he was bed-ridden. we met him like a month back, when he could still open his eyes and smile. we all knew, that, his times near, but u never want the  one you love with all your heart, to leave you, anyhow.

i am so down, yet helpless. everybody tells me i have to be strong, cause i have two younger siblings to look after. i consoled my mom, but i have no words to console any other family member. i have no tears left too. i am numb. emotionless now.

he was such an inspiring personality. graceful and pious. when i look back, i know he might be the only person who loved me for ME. i will miss him so bad.

i wish i had some one to cry on his/her shoulders. or someone i could talk to, who could speak the right words and make me feel safe. i wish i had someone just to tell me its not such a big loss.

i feel so insecure. =(

i feel as if theres nothing to be done. no words to be said. no deeds to be done. for every ones to leave some day.

i hope hes ranked high in the heaven. and all his sins be forgiven by Allah. AMEN.