another RANDOM life update!

well hello. i feel like myself today. whewww, feels great actually =)

lifes good, though its super super tiring! i havent really been stressed this much, ever, in any of my semesters before. i have frigging classes all week long, except for wednesday, which i end up going too, cause there something i have to complete, or my friends say we will do group study, here in the university. yeah, that helps, a lot, but u know, preeeeeety tiring when u have to be there till 3 4ish everyday.

i got back at around 4ish home, from the bloody class. i actually was very excited, i love making illustrations, and i thought, this would be the one subject i wont mind taking on saturdays, which i was super wrong about, obviously. i am so frazzled. ugh. i hate the teacher, shes a bitch. shes made fashion illustrations F into fucking illustration, like seriously. last week she gave us this theme, textile prints, in 1960s. today, she said, i just need textile prints, and i want your mood-board by the end of the class. which wasnt fair, cause today the theme was changed. it was only textile prints, which on one side was easier, but dude we'd already have researched 1960s, yeah? well she messed up our moods, totally. and we couldnt do anything by the end of the class today! nothing. i went to her, to show her a few pictures, i thought wouldnt be so stilted, but i got insulted instead of getting any major help. yeah, she really is sucha bitch. she graded our last weeks assignment today, and when we asked her for our grades, she was like super mad, she said, i wont tell u that, that i cant! then i said, mam we wanna know where we are right and where we are wrong, and she said, in the next class, i want you to present your work to me,in front of the whole bloody class, i will let u know whats wrong with your work and whats not! oh yeah, imagine the insanity we have to deal with.

an year ago, i used to fight with my dad, saying, aba gee, i wanna be a fashion designer, i couldnt be able to cope up with the engineering stuff, all the maths and measurement, which now i realise was totally wrong. i am doing fashion designing now(yeah i know it sounds so amusing and everything, but NO, trust me, its even patheticer than engineering) and nothing is easy! mark my words, as long as you enjoy what you are doing, amazing. otherwise, u cant expect math to be difficult, and art subjects easy. cause nothing is easy.
yes, i love what i do, and thats possibly why, i am still doing it with all my heart, no matter how many times i abuse my teacher, and thats only why i end up getting good grades other than flunking it.


so other than the class, we have the students councils elections going on. its so amazing, every ones giving us treats and their badges, and there are banners and posters of them. campus looks so awesome these days, but despite all the buttering, seniors are doing, i still havent made my mind, to whome im going to give my vote to. guess what i and my group did today? we took all the stickers, we got from this guy, and we put it on the banners, exactly on the face of the opposing team :P geeez it was so much fun, everyone was staring us with WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOSERS UPTO looks, and we were laughing crazily.

on the other hand, the darker side, i have sooo much homework to be done by the weekend :S so fucking much, but imma take today off from all the homework, and enjoy songs and watch a movie or so!

sometimes you take a lot of stuff for granted, and then it goes away, cause of your silliness, and the you are left with NOTHING. dont let that NOTHING, come anywhere near you. you are the best, and you deserve the best!:D
so wish me luck, stay happy and enjoy what u have, thats what life and people taught me in the last few days.

happy yet sad. relieved yet humiliated.

wasnt the rain like uh-mazing? it was beautiful. though i feel bad for the homeless people, i mean they had a tough time draining out the water from their small homes, and fretting about how much more this rains gonna cost them, but, apart from that, it was great. the weather was unbelievable. i  had a hard time believing, that its actually Karachi, and not Islamabad or Lahore.

i stood by the window, most of the time, and enjoyed the beautiful raindrops falling. the circular motion made by the droplets, in the water, was so mesmerizing and inspiring. guess what i did, i played backstreet boys first record, millenium. it was so much fun, i sung my heart out. my old, favourite songs!

the rain messed up the lines and the cables. phone lines and electricity lines. every half an hour the power went off. it was hard to the generator switched on, and then off, for short time spans, after every little while. then my cable net was effed up. three days without internet, ugh. and on the top of all, the ptcl lines were messed up too. can you believe it? no net, no light, no phone? yeah, it felt like i am living in the fucking STONE-AGE. grrrr. my cell phones battery isnt really good, and i have to charge my phone usually twice a day to make sure its power wont go off (and i  dont text much now, i am over texting) so i had to use my phone only when it were very urgent and important, cause of the frigging electricity. so hell yeah, it felt as if, Pakistans back in stone-age. GOD BLESS PAKISTAN! *sarcastic smile*

mom and dad are back. they got back home yesterday. i finally could take a big sigh of relief *whewww*. moms not really doing fine. she keeps on crying, telling me about everything there. i cried so much yesterday too. i got back to my senses. my numbness was gone, and my tears actually came out of my eyes, finally. i cried my eyes off then. its such a big loss, everytime i think about it, i cry, for i know, we have lost a gem.

every ones super sad, back there in Lahore too. nano (gran-ma), mamus (uncles) and khalas(aunts). =c all i say is HE IS STILL WITH US. HE LIVES, AND WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN OUR HEARTS.

now, apart from all this, something crazy and totally humiliating happened yesterday. i was talking to my friend. he is a guy friend, and we are pretty close. anyways, when i was texting him, i wrote this big, lengthy, 3 page text to my youngest mamu and khala. i wrote how helpless i am, and how sad is mom still. and that take good care of yourself. and wrote alot more, this sorta caring stuff. i ended the text, by writing, i love you, alot. and i am sorry i am not there with you right now. x x.
and i sent this text to him, mistakenly. i mean my friend. can u believe it? i dint know i sent him, this personal piece of my writing, and so i got a text from him, he saying, since when did u love me? :o annnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddd dammit. it was sooooooo humiliating. i mean, yea i love him, but just as a friend, and would never be in like love LOVE with him. crap. i felt like ripping my hair off my own head, and going in some planet where he doesnt know i exist.

touch phones suck, MAJORLY. so if u use one, double check before sending any text.

how i texted him back, that just i know :P


p.s imma make sure i read all your posts soon, and comment too. i missed blogger these last few STONE-AGE days, and missed you guys more. =)